How I Learned to Drive a Motorbike, and Also: Don’t Do What I Did. Except That You Totally Should..

“Can you drive a motorbike?”
Oh, yeah, totally. No problem. Just give me the damn keys, thanks (I was already running late for work, so I’m sure I could’ve been more polite).

It turns out I did not know how to drive a motorbike. Nothing like driving a jetski or a dirtbike or my Jeep—you know what, it’s a freaking scooter, and it turned out I was incapable for the first two minutes and just threw myself into traffic at 7am because I had to get to work that morning and had no choice.

This is what happens when there’s an attractive man with a motorbike. It’s much more enjoyable to jump on the back of his and take off through the mountains than it is to drive yourself to work.

At least that’s what I thought.
Let there never again be a day in my life where I don’t have a motorbike.
It’s the most spectacular thing. Better than my Jeep or my Mustang, and I can’t believe I just admitted that.

Three days after I got my little Honda Click, I decided I hadn’t risked enough death, and “oh, yeah, I’ve got this”—and I jumped on and drove my way to Burma for a visa run just because I could.
I was later informed, “Yeah, we started taking bets on whether or not you’d make it back alive.”

If you’ve never thought about driving a motorbike across Northern Thailand, add this to your Bucket List. It’s the most rewarding drive I’ve ever taken.

And obviously, I crashed.
Not my fault.

The back brake literally snapped in half, and the front brake threw me straight into rush hour traffic over my handlebars between two lumber trucks that cut me off. My mechanic sheepishly apologized and showed me the pieces later and offered me a better bike to make up for it, no additional charge.

Coolest. Accident. Ever. My scars aren’t so bad either.
Luckily, I was wearing my leather jacket and my helmet, but the rest of me? Didn’t do so well.
Ended up having to ride back 10 hours with only one brake through the mountains, in the middle of the night, and (crashed a second time)—it was by far the most fun I’ve ever had on a road trip. Without my cell phone because I left it at home again.

But seriously. Drive through Northern Thailand on a motorbike.
Just, you know, check your brakes first.

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Published by

Candis Jean

Escape artist.

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